Positively Strapping
Can I tell you that after working in the sex toy industry for close to ten years nothing gives me more joy than helping someone find their first harness or strap-on. It’s almost the same kind of feeling as when Cinderella finds her glass slipper… but there is a dildo involved. While I find this experience to be as exciting as the last, I understand completely that for others this experience doesn’t always start that way. In fact, for most of the people who walk through my door looking for a strap-on, they walk in with a serious feeling of dread and dismay. With the number of options out there, the numerous ways that they can be used, and the worry of how it’s going to look for most people the entire strap-on hunt can be one of the hardest in their lives. With that in mind, I wanted to take the time today and impart some of my strapping education to make shopping for your first or next strap-on experience not only easy but the sensational experience it should be!
First, and this may sound silly, but be prepared to step out of your comfort zone. Strap-ons have a wide variety of uses and each individual person can be using them a multitude of ways. For any store that’s worth its salt, like the one I work in, we never try and assume how you want to use your strap-on. That being said, that means we are going to ask questions. Lots of questions. Just be prepared, because based off of what you tell us you want, we are going to make recommendations and don’t be offended if we ask questions about how the strap may be used. We just want to make sure you are getting the best possible option for what you are looking for!
It’s also important to take a minute and ask yourself what it is you want. Are you wanting a strap on to penetrate a partner? Is it for vaginal or anal penetration? Are you wanting a strap-on for gender affirmation, so more of a packing item? How long do you intend on using the item? Is it just for a short vacation and will be thrown away after a few uses or is this something you want to have a long time and use for many years? All of these questions are important ones and can seriously affect what quality and price you would pay. It’s important if you aren’t going to go into a store and make your purchase online to have a small list of what you are looking for and use it to pick through the descriptions of items online. If something you are looking at online doesn’t have a description, move on. It will save you lots of disappointment.
Now that we’ve narrowed some of that down let’s talk about the strap part of strap-ons. There are many different kinds out there and it’s important to know which one would work best for your situation.
- Traditional – Traditional strap-ons are typically made of some kind of neoprene, leather or some other type of thing strips of material. They tend to have an adjustable waist band and two loops that go around the legs in a jock strap sort of style. These tend to work best for sex as they can be adjusted and tightened to hold on better plus they can have many different sized dildos.
- Panty/Boxer – These style strap-ons tend to be very comfortable but they don’t really hold up during vigorous activity like sex. These work best for packing or gender affirmation uses but can still be used for play. Since they are made of cloth mostly and have no actual straps to tighten it, the weight of the dildo can be important. Too heavy and it can sag or hang especially after extended use, so be sure to get them as tight as possible since you cannot adjust them.
- Hybrid Style- These tend to be my favorite, but they can be costlier. These style strap-ons are soft like a panty/boxer style but are made up like a traditional so they offer the support that is needed.
- Open/Multi-Ring- These tend to work better for penis owners. If they have double rings it can be used with a dildo and a penis for double penetration. If they are completely open with a dildo it’s so someone can receive penetration from behind. This means that someone who has multiple partners can still receive penetration while giving penetration!
- Hollow – These strap-ons tend to come with a piece attached or with one in the box to make life much easier, but it is important to check the material, especially if you are using it for anal. These tend to work best for someone with a penis, as they allow for penetrative play even if the erection is lost or even if an erection is unachievable.
Now that we’ve picked out what style strap you need for your strap-on, what if we want to use a dildo? The great news is that there are many different styles, sizes and colored options out there. There are even some that are shaped like tentacles or are based off of fantasy creatures! As long as it has a flared based in order to hold it in place, it’s something that can be usable in a strap-on. Do be sure to double check the ring that holds your dildo in whatever harness you pick. If you have a strap on that has the ability to change rings, it may be helpful to get a harness ring kit, but that can be an easy fix itself!
So, we have the strap, we have the dildo, now what? Time to strut your stuff! You’ve done it woohoo! This is the best part! Putting that bad boy on and strutting your stuff like the beautiful creature you know you are!